Comments on: How to say NO and have people respect you for it http://beanoriginal.net/how-to-say-no-and-have-people-respect-you-for-it/ feeding your inner rebel Sat, 13 Mar 2010 01:36:17 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.9 hourly 1 By: Derek Padula - The Dao of Dragon Ball http://beanoriginal.net/how-to-say-no-and-have-people-respect-you-for-it/#comment-1201 Derek Padula - The Dao of Dragon Ball Thu, 04 Feb 2010 21:42:50 +0000 http://blog.lodewijkvdb.com/2008/02/how-to-say-no-and-have-people-respect-you-for-it.html#comment-1201 Thank you for a very logical and emotionally sensitive post. No is definitely something I need to practice. I feel like a leader in heart, but then I react to others requests that I am not available for by saying Yes, so I don't ruffle any feathers. However, I'm not being honest with myself or them and I'm not enduring the hardship of listening to my inner voice and following it. Following your true self is where true leaders are born, I believe. The more I practice that, the better off I will be. Thanks again. Thank you for a very logical and emotionally sensitive post. No is definitely something I need to practice. I feel like a leader in heart, but then I react to others requests that I am not available for by saying Yes, so I don’t ruffle any feathers. However, I’m not being honest with myself or them and I’m not enduring the hardship of listening to my inner voice and following it. Following your true self is where true leaders are born, I believe. The more I practice that, the better off I will be. Thanks again.

]]> By: Rose http://beanoriginal.net/how-to-say-no-and-have-people-respect-you-for-it/#comment-819 Rose Sat, 21 Nov 2009 21:10:54 +0000 http://blog.lodewijkvdb.com/2008/02/how-to-say-no-and-have-people-respect-you-for-it.html#comment-819 I just now remembered when my kids (as toddlers) started saying 'no' back to me. I must have said it a lot for them to have learned it and used it in the right context. My response back then was to be "the boss", after all who did this little midget think they were saying "no" to the illustrious leader! So (although I can't recall exactly how I dealt with it), I let them know in no uncertain terms that you didn't challenge authority. They learned that saying "no" didn't pay. And I think most people learn this self same lesson very early in life. I think a lot of our reluctance to say no comes from remembering the punishment (the parent's ruffled feathers, the smack, rejection ... the whole energy of what saying "no" can bring. And so we become a society of "yes" men, even when we want to say no. And further, get ourselves frustrated, angry and resentful doing stuff we often don't really want to do! A "yes" is great when it's authentic. Practice the "no". No thanks. Maybe next time. I just now remembered when my kids (as toddlers) started saying ‘no’ back to me. I must have said it a lot for them to have learned it and used it in the right context.

My response back then was to be “the boss”, after all who did this little midget think they were saying “no” to the illustrious leader! So (although I can’t recall exactly how I dealt with it), I let them know in no uncertain terms that you didn’t challenge authority. They learned that saying “no” didn’t pay. And I think most people learn this self same lesson very early in life.

I think a lot of our reluctance to say no comes from remembering the punishment (the parent’s ruffled feathers, the smack, rejection … the whole energy of what saying “no” can bring.

And so we become a society of “yes” men, even when we want to say no. And further, get ourselves frustrated, angry and resentful doing stuff we often don’t really want to do!

A “yes” is great when it’s authentic.

Practice the “no”.

No thanks. Maybe next time.

]]> By: Giving Up Commitments and Saying No to New Ones — Aliventures http://beanoriginal.net/how-to-say-no-and-have-people-respect-you-for-it/#comment-818 Giving Up Commitments and Saying No to New Ones — Aliventures Thu, 17 Sep 2009 10:13:52 +0000 http://blog.lodewijkvdb.com/2008/02/how-to-say-no-and-have-people-respect-you-for-it.html#comment-818 [...] (How to say NO and have people respect you for it, How to Be An Original) [...] [...] (How to say NO and have people respect you for it, How to Be An Original) [...]

]]> By: Michael@ Awareness * Connection http://beanoriginal.net/how-to-say-no-and-have-people-respect-you-for-it/#comment-817 Michael@ Awareness * Connection Wed, 03 Sep 2008 07:06:44 +0000 http://blog.lodewijkvdb.com/2008/02/how-to-say-no-and-have-people-respect-you-for-it.html#comment-817 A hugely important skill, being able to say no with grace and authenticity. I enjoyed seeing yes and no's broken down into the six combinations. This is a great post, as making sure your time and attention is spent on what you value most can only be done by saying no to extraneous requests. <abbr>Michael@ Awareness * Connection's last blog post..<a href="http://enjoyparenting.blogspot.com/2008/08/save-words-for-happy-times-part-ii.html" rel="nofollow">Save the Words for the Happy Times, Part II</a></abbr> A hugely important skill, being able to say no with grace and authenticity. I enjoyed seeing yes and no’s broken down into the six combinations. This is a great post, as making sure your time and attention is spent on what you value most can only be done by saying no to extraneous requests.

Michael@ Awareness * Connection’s last blog post..Save the Words for the Happy Times, Part II

]]> By: Salim http://beanoriginal.net/how-to-say-no-and-have-people-respect-you-for-it/#comment-816 Salim Wed, 13 Aug 2008 18:35:26 +0000 http://blog.lodewijkvdb.com/2008/02/how-to-say-no-and-have-people-respect-you-for-it.html#comment-816 "Seek first to understand and then to be understood". That I believe is the key in deciding whether to say NO. Understand the requestor's need, situation and position and then seek to explain him your decision and reasoning. Nice article. “Seek first to understand and then to be understood”. That I believe is the key in deciding whether to say NO. Understand the requestor’s need, situation and position and then seek to explain him your decision and reasoning.

Nice article.

]]> By: Emy http://beanoriginal.net/how-to-say-no-and-have-people-respect-you-for-it/#comment-815 Emy Wed, 18 Jun 2008 08:28:01 +0000 http://blog.lodewijkvdb.com/2008/02/how-to-say-no-and-have-people-respect-you-for-it.html#comment-815 The word 'NO'is always hard for me. Any time I'm afraid to offence the people and avoid 'NO'. BUt now it is time to learn how to say'NO' and your post will be of great usage. Thanks The word ‘NO’is always hard for me. Any time I’m afraid to offence the people and avoid ‘NO’. BUt now it is time to learn how to say’NO’ and your post will be of great usage. Thanks

]]> By: Glimmerick » Blog Archive » What are you waiting for? http://beanoriginal.net/how-to-say-no-and-have-people-respect-you-for-it/#comment-814 Glimmerick » Blog Archive » What are you waiting for? Mon, 09 Jun 2008 08:39:40 +0000 http://blog.lodewijkvdb.com/2008/02/how-to-say-no-and-have-people-respect-you-for-it.html#comment-814 [...] to minimize these activities, learn to say “No” if you are feeling overwhelmed with [...] [...] to minimize these activities, learn to say “No” if you are feeling overwhelmed with [...]

]]> By: Tage http://beanoriginal.net/how-to-say-no-and-have-people-respect-you-for-it/#comment-813 Tage Sun, 01 Jun 2008 04:38:11 +0000 http://blog.lodewijkvdb.com/2008/02/how-to-say-no-and-have-people-respect-you-for-it.html#comment-813 I really like what you post about, and how deep your insight and examples go, while incorporating relevant quotes from present day business leaders. Keep up the good work! <abbr>Tages last blog post..<a href="http://aaker.wordpress.com/2008/05/31/what-are-you-waiting-for/" rel="nofollow">What are you waiting for?</a></abbr> I really like what you post about, and how deep your insight and examples go, while incorporating relevant quotes from present day business leaders. Keep up the good work!

Tages last blog post..What are you waiting for?

]]> By: What are you waiting for? « elucidate http://beanoriginal.net/how-to-say-no-and-have-people-respect-you-for-it/#comment-812 What are you waiting for? « elucidate Sun, 01 Jun 2008 04:34:07 +0000 http://blog.lodewijkvdb.com/2008/02/how-to-say-no-and-have-people-respect-you-for-it.html#comment-812 [...] to minimize these activities, learn to say “No” if you are feeling overwhelmed with [...] [...] to minimize these activities, learn to say “No” if you are feeling overwhelmed with [...]

]]> By: Amanda Leigh http://beanoriginal.net/how-to-say-no-and-have-people-respect-you-for-it/#comment-808 Amanda Leigh Wed, 06 Feb 2008 17:20:12 +0000 http://blog.lodewijkvdb.com/2008/02/how-to-say-no-and-have-people-respect-you-for-it.html#comment-808 I really liked what you said at the end of the post about knowing yourself (and what you want). I guess it boils down to "an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure." Spend time reflecting on yourself, and building your self-knowledge regularly (although this can be difficult too), and "yes" and "no" will come out more authentically when you need them too! I really liked what you said at the end of the post about knowing yourself (and what you want). I guess it boils down to “an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.” Spend time reflecting on yourself, and building your self-knowledge regularly (although this can be difficult too), and “yes” and “no” will come out more authentically when you need them too!

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