This is the fourth in a series of six sidenotes, the first three can be found here:
How hard can it be, to be me (1)
How hard can it be, to be me (2); dissecting the authentic life
How hard can it be, to be me (3); hypothesize
Tests. Love to hate them? Or hate to love ‘em?
In the previous sidenote I stated that we have to test whether goals and purposes are authentic. To do this I use a technique similar to statistical hypothesis testing, but without the statistical mumbo-jumbo.
A hypothesis is a statement in which we express an assumption. Next is conducting a test that gives us data to analyze whether this assumption is true or false. Tests gather data and information; the test criteria provide a conclusion.
In this series of sidenotes we are focusing on discovering authentic activities, goals and purposes. We have made hypotheses that state our assumptions. Gathering information on these hypotheses is not as straightforward as we might like. For example, when looking at one of the hypotheses:
To ensure my authentic future growth, starting a blog about personal development allows me to add value or meaning to my and other people’s lives.
I have to gather information on all parts:
- Does it allow me to grow?
- Does it add value or meaning to me?
- Does it add value or meaning to others?
Items 1 and 2 are about me, item 3 is about others. They require different tactics.
I cannot come up with answers for the others, so I have to talk to them to get a feel about that. So to test this hypothesis, I will specifically ask people around me if they feel it would add value or meaning to them if my ideas where available on the web in a blog. I already knew that interacting with others about these topics face to face, was perceived as adding value or meaning. I was specifically focusing on getting to know whether and how a written (much less interactive) version would also add value. I’m still very much open to feedback on this issue. What do you like about my blog? What can I do better? Please leave a comment so I can use it to improve.
For items 1 and 2, I have to turn inward. They are about me, and in the end it’s about my emotions towards the activity or purpose. Growth to me, is a making progress towards a desired future of which I have a vision; this can be done “thinking”. Value or meaning is whether I feel good about it; this has to be done “feeling”. There are several techniques available to help you, ranging from sitting in front of the fireplace with a glass of whisky pondering the past, present and future, to guided visualization-exercises where you visit your own funeral or talk to the inner child. You can also ask people questions about what they feel gets you enthusiastic. Or can you remember instances of flow
I encourage you to do the exercises, in the doing is the learning. In the next post I’ll talk about how to decide on whether to accept or reject the hypothesis.
{ 5 comments… read them below or add one }
Hi Lodewijk,
I like your blog, and to answer your question: yes, it does bring value and meaning to me. I have only read the “How hard can it be,…” series, I like them a lot. Particular Heidegger words was exactly the answer to a question I have asked myself many times. How much can we expect from life? How happy can we “demand” to be? Should we settle for something less than perfect (what ever that is?)If we do not settle for less than perfect, do we risk ending up unsatisfied and unhappy?
I do not agree with your definition of meaningful life though. I think you place too much emphasis on bringing meaning and value to others. I know (I think) that humans are social animals that needs the company of others – to some extent anyway, but I have no doubt that you can live a meaningful life without adding value to other peoples lives.
And as they say in the airplane: always put your own mask on before helping others.
Wkr, and keep posing,
Morten
Hi Morten,
Thanks for the feedback. I’m glad that you like my blog. Your comments about bringing meaning to others made me think. I can come up with a couple of people that may not need to add value to others, as they derive happiness from within or from their works. They are painters, sculptors, monks and the likes.
I can imagine that a painter gets all his fulfillment from the work he creates. Or a monk getting all his fulfillment from the meditation he does. To me it does seem lonely however…
If I am reading this correctly, Lodewijk, you were saying that adding value or meaning to others’ lives is just one of your criterions for determining your own authenticity, a personal standard, not a universal one as Morten seems to suggest.
I think by living an authentic life, one can’t help but add value or meaning to others lives. It may not be an intended result, but “just” a by-product. Artists live for their art and that provides inspiration and meaning to those who appreciate it. Rilke’s poetry is an example for me, in and out of translation. The monk (or nun) who goes off to a cave or mountain top becomes an inspiration to others although that likely was not their original intent. I think we are just too social, too interconnected to be able to avoid adding value to others’ lives. I agree with Morten that we have to help ourselves first before we can help others; without that there is no capactiy to help. Not deriving meaning in one’s own life, I doubt one could add value or meaning to anyone else’s.
Keep up the blog. I’ve barely scratched it and am anxious to read it all and follow it.
I think you hit the nail on the head, Clay. I like how you formulate it. Adding value to others as a possibly unintended by-product. If you take care of being authentic yourself and succeed, you are bound to add value to others. I like that
I have another question Lodewijk. I have a question for you from a good friend of mine. she is a woman child at the age of 43 years old and needs to know the remedy or the solution to overcoming and the putting away of feelings and the old information obsorbed over the years that are holding her back from growing that has been wrong she admits and acknowledges. can’t find friend that will gladly accept hugs and kisses when she is down knowingly that this is good for the emotional part of her. I alreay know to think it be it, but do I think about it all the time? do I have to consume my time thinking and acting to be the person I want to be or do I need to make plans and or goals to reach it? thanks and yes I like the blog. keep it up…