On Tuesdays I write about Living my Legend. This section is inspired by The Alchemist and is an account of my journey of living my potential.
This is the first post in this section. I announced it over three weeks ago and it has developed in my mind since then. Maybe it was foresight, but tuning in to my legend and making the inner connection have been on my mind ever since. I have spent time to reconnect and things are becoming very clear. I expect that I have a lot of material for posts, but I will only post them when they are ‘ripe’.
Personal values
I have five personal values that I regard as my core values. They represent the things I want to experience in this life. The first time I actively discovered these personal values was 6 years ago, during an intense session with a guided meditation. At that time I recognized them, but did not know what to do with them and how they could be useful.
I revisited these values in other training and meditation sessions and my understanding of what they mean for me grew. It’s good to revisit them as they will mature over time, but for now, these are my five personal core values:
- Love
Love is a central theme in my life. I need love and have a lot of love to give. Love for life, for people, for animals, for nature, for beautiful things, for the things I do and so on. But the most important is the love for my family and friends. - Fun
I’m here to have lots of fun. I love laughing and I love to do fun things, with other people or alone. Time is too precious not to have fun, but it’s so easy to let this one slip. Sometimes we’re just too serious and it’s so easy to get caught in that atmosphere. I’m dedicated to have fun and not let this happen anymore. Not to me, and if I can, not to anybody. - Freedom
Freedom is a value that’s really strong within me. Freedom is something I value on all plains of life, from the physical freedom of movement to the mental freedom of thought and decisions. This value sets a clear directions for me, both to actively attain freedom and to prevent me from doing things that might limit my freedom in the future. - Authenticity
I value things that are real and authentic. The things I do, think and say are in connection with who I am. Knowing my values and having a clear direction in my life are part of that and helpful at the same time.
There’s so much outside pressure in the form of people, companies, government, schools, church, and many other institutions. They all try to tell you who to be and how to live. Having the inner connection is essential in withstanding that pressure and choosing to be who you want to be, and choosing to do what you want to do. Not what THEY want you to do. - Growth
I aim for growth in most aspects of my life. My interest on personal development is rooted in this value. I’m fascinated by potential and love the energy and creativity associated with fulfilling that potential. Both for myself and when helping others to achieve growth.
Using the values
Over the past couple of weeks I used these values as a foundation for my mission statement, and subsequently for guidelines for several areas of my life. Following down that path I was able to set very specific goals that could be traced back to my personal core values. The Early Bird Challenge was a great example of this.
The next post in this section will be about my mission statement.
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Hello!
I’m also a big Paulo Coelho fan and I don’t know if you heard about his blog
http://www.paulocoelhoblog.com
I’ve started as a fan and now I’m collaborating with him and thought that you would like to enter his universe.
Check the blog, if you want, or subscribe to his newsletter
http://www.warriorofthelight.com/engl/index.html
You’ll see a community of warriors of light sharing ideas, dreams and most importantly following their personal legend.
QUOTE OF THE DAY:
“I am convinced
that no one loses anyone,
because no one owns anyone.
That is the true experience of freedom:
having the most important thing in the World
without owning it.”
See you there and have a great day!
Aart
Lodewijkvdb
You’ve been tagged for the “Does Most Leadership Suck Challenge”. Check the link for details.
Take care…
JWM
Aloha Lodewijk, I read this a moment ago right after your About Page, and they I went back to the comment you had left for Amy Palko on Lives Less Ordinary about photography perspective (http://snurl.com/2a707), and I must tell you how remarkably strong your value alignment is; it leaps off the page with such integrity.
I thought I’d share with you that the Hawaiian value of authenticity is called nānā i ke kumu, and it translates to “look to one’s source.” You are doing that here and wherever you visit so exceptionally well, and just knowing you for such a short time (via Twitter) I had to let you know that, about the immediate impression you make. You ‘walk your talk’ of authenticity in an amazingly clear way, and I am thrilled to have this chance to know you.
I so look forward to learning more from you. The website link I left with my name in this comment will tell you more about my mana‘o (feelings and beliefs) about nānā i ke kumu if you are interested.
Rosa Says last blog post..Let’s Talk Story: What’s new with you?
Family, career, love, fun and rest are the tings I praise most of all
Hi Lodwijk,
thank you for you blog. It’s quite interesting to follow your way of self development. I still haven’t established my personal values, or rather I haven’t verbalized it yet but I’m after the reading couple of books by Edward de Bono and his theory that human brain works like a self-organizing pattern system organizing all information into patterns. Hi proves that the hardest task for the brain is to change the patterns to force the brain for the creativity. I think that establishing the personal values may fossilize some patterns in our brain that will be hard to change in the future. The other question is if we really need to change them as they are named as core values. But anyway it would be good to add some comment to the personal values that they needs to be periodically verified in certain period of time. What do you think?
@Klaus – Thanks for your thought provoking comment. I took a couple of days to think about it.
I think that we have a set of core values that change very little over time, they do change though. Either through experience, or simply through aging, I’m not sure how exactly. I just don’t believe they are set in stone, not from birth or any other moment in time. They evolve over time with who we are, who we become and what happens to us. As such it’s a good exercise to rediscover your core values every couple of years. You may find that they have changed slightly. Maybe you’re ranking them in order of importance, and the order has changed. Or you actually have six of them, and have never verbalized the sixth value. That last one happened to me. When I first discovered them, I only got to choose 4. About 6 years later, I added a fifth value -> Growth. As this was one of my core values too.
As far as De Bono is concerned, he has great techniques for creative thinking and creativity in general. And for changing thinking patterns his techniques are awesome. The way he describes how his techniques work, combined with how the brain works make it valuable. As far as the core values are concerned though, I’m not convinced that they are thinking patterns. I feel the same about emotions. I know that we gain more understanding of how the brain works, but why we experience emotions like love, sadness, excitement or why we feel a deep connection to certain values cannot be explained in this way. I’m not convinced that the brain, and its inner workings, is the only originator of our personality, our being. But that too, is a personal conviction, and impossible to prove.
I hope this clears up some of my thoughts and feelings about this topic for you. How do you think and feel about this?
Lodewijk,
Thanks for you answer. I was not aware of your reply until today when I got an email about new article which remained me about your blog.
My concern was about the procedure how we use the the core personal values. In particular if you consider some decision to make you can simply check if the result comply with with your values or not. This is the pattern how we handle the values. The result may help you in the decision process, but what if the values are no longer valid because something has hanged around you in the meantime since you evaluated them last time. You may make a wrong decision or what is even worse miss the new opportunity. This is why I agree to name the values as core but also keep in mind that even core values should be under periodically review process. Even if you do not change or add any new value at least you can rearrange the order in terms of their priorities. Does it make sense?
Klaus
Now I checked the “Notify me of followup comments via e-mail” box below
Klaus, that makes perfectly sense! I have never thought about people defining their core values and prioritizing them and use that list as the main reference. I could never see that list disconnected from my emotions and my identity. That’s the level where I believe you will find your core values.
As soon as someone feels that a decision is a good decision to make, yet it does not seem to comply with a previously defined list, that should be an indicator that you need to do some more exercises to get to know your (new) self. Something may have changed your values, or you may have made a step and are now ready to dig a little deeper, or you did not dig deep enough last time. Who knows?
You should never follow the results of these kinds of exercises blindly. Never ignore what you feel, or what your intuition tells you. There’s something to learn there. It may not change what you decide, but it will learn you something about yourself.
I don’t think you’ll ever be done with getting to know yourself. Everything changes from time to time as we wander through this eventful journey called life!
I am interested as to why we do what we do. I am conscious–work at it what I do daily. My interaction with others–my family, my church. We are complete by the maker but we behave like we’re empty. I want to hel other realize who they are. African Americans–Black America’s burden–I have taken as my burden. I care so much for the waste as I see in them. The world is a great place–it has become a scary place lots of us. Where do we go from here-Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. question.
Lodewijk – I Love this – Love it. I relate very closely to these core values — Although I ‘know’ my core values, I have never written them down nor have I ever examined in exact detail how they drive my life. Sometimes when two decisions or tasks collide, I will often feel guilt for choosing one over the other. I assume that there is a core value beneath driving the decision — but having a clear picture of my own core values and how they translate to my life would be a great gift to myself. Thanks for the inspiration!!
Christine! Great to see you back again!
My experience is that knowing your values can be very helpful in the situation you describe. But I tend to not choose one over the other, rather I ask myself the question how to do what value A wants in a way that value B would enjoy. Decisions that undervalue one of your core values, tend to keep nagging along because something is wrong about it.
Since writing this post in 2007 I have also written an ebook about discovering your values. I’m going to edit that book over the coming months and release a new version.
This are my personal core value.
• Growth
I aim for growth in most aspects of my life. My interest on personal development is rooted in this value.
• Honesty
To consistently seek and speak the truth Having a lifestyle without lying, cheating, stealing or other forms of deception.
• Compassion
To show care and kindness for others. Helping others who are in need.
• Respect
To value self, others, property and diversity. Showing appreciation for sacrifices that have been made for your benefit. The ability to understand where your rights end and someone else’s begin.
• Responsibility
To be accountable for your actions towards yourself, colleague, friends and family members. Having the motivation, knowledge and ability to actively participate in a growth of my company.
Desire K.