‘Cause we all just wanna be big rockstars
And live in hilltop houses driving fifteen cars
~ Lyrics from “Rockstar” by Nickelback
Fifteen cars? Is that what you want too? Chances are that the thought of something similar has crossed your mind at some time in your life. How couldn’t it have, we’re pummeled with the marketed picture of those “perfect” lives almost on a daily basis.
And that’s a problem. There are so many influences and media these days that we are consistently battered with messages about stuff to do, be or want. Sure, we zap away, develop ad blindness, take it with a grain of salt or even ridicule the commercials. But they work anyway. Trust me on this one, they work. On you, on me, on everyone.
Now featured in the self help literature
It’s not that concerning when it comes to what brand of soda we buy, or what brand of beer. But the effect extends to the level of the way we want to live our lives. Our goals and our visions of how a successful life are lived are influenced by them in a major way.
This trend has even crossed over to the self help section of your book store. Stories of abundance and grand riches have always been a part of the success literature, partly because it’s one of the most common ways of measuring success and partly because that’s what people are looking for. But if you look carefully at how they are presented, there’s been a a change.
It changed from examples to a theory or a message, to the example of how it’s done and what you should want too. The book and the accompanying movie “The Secret” are a big example for this phenomenon. I’ve written about them before, and if you read that you know that I’m divided about the message.
Overly focused on materialistic objects
One of the effects that I totally hate is the overfocus on the materialistic translation of being successful. Somehow that’s the effect that gets across the most and in the most ridiculous way too. If you haven’t seen the movie, watch this video that’s available at the website of The Secret:
It’s something isn’t it? Videos like these inspire other people to make videos like these (search youtube for mind movies and find many more):
(why are Martin Luther King, Mahatma Ghandi, John Lennon and Mother Theresa in there?!)
It’s amazing, it’s so MTV Cribs. Hilltop houses and fifteen cars. I mean I can understand Jay Leno, he has a passion for cars. He’s a collector, and collectors are passionately crazy about the objects they collect. But a random set of expensive high performance cars, what’s it gonna bring you? That’s the question not a lot of people ask themselves.
Goals are often solutions, result oriented. And especially in western society we have a tendency to translate that into a materialistic result. Something tangible, something we can measure. The Secret has given people examples of goals (houses, dollars, cars, shoes, diamonds) that represent a big monetary value.
But what does the money bring you? What does owning a hilltop house bring you? What does owning three performance cars bring you? What does [insert materialistic object] bring you?
What does owning … bring you?
Money can bring you a sense of certainty, peace of mind. That’s a result! It can be “Fuck you money” by bringing you the ability to say no to stuff that you don’t want to do. That’s a result! The money by itself is nothing, it represents something for you. And that something is what makes it valuable. The same goes for the cars, the private jet, the multiple houses. What do they bring you? What makes them valuable for you.
And when you know what they bring you, you know that you have defined a solution to getting that. How many alternatives can you come up with that bring the same effect? I can bet with you that there are alternatives that are more viable, more authentic, than the marketed goals that we are likely to adopt.
I know I’ve fallen victim to it. On several occasions even. But I usually recognize them later on, and cross them off my list ruthlessly and think about what result I’m really after and what alternative ways there are to accomplish them. I’ve found that there always are. And usually simpler too.
{ 6 comments… read them below or add one }
Dear God, that Secret video was jaw-dropping? How could anyone buy that tripe?
I suggest a new video for them, with captions like this:
I KNOW THAT WHEN I ACTUALLY START WORKING
I FINALLY SEE RESULTS
IT’S NOT THAT SURPRISING ACTUALLY
What a hoot. Good post
Dave Navarros last blog post..Interview with International Man of Mystery Lodewijk van den Broek
I’ve always wanted a genie. From a brass ring, though, not a lamp.
I’ll second Mr. Navarro’s disbelief of the Secret video. I guess it’s like every other fad, diet, and scheme out there, though. I still want it, even if I know that the rewards don’t equal the promise.
Now I’ll spend the morning wondering where I’ve heard that song before.
Great post.
@Dave – That would be a cool video to make! Full of affirmations that are down to earth, instead of with your head in the clouds
@Shawn – I’ve seen the Secret, several times even. There are definitely valuable lessons in the movie and in the book. Some of the “teachers” are people who have genuine wisdom to share. It’s just that it’s so over the top and it tends to let people focus too much on the money aspect.
If you take the message of the secret to heart and apply it in a balanced way, aligned with who you are, it can be very powerful!
I only know about the money aspect of the secret. I guess that’s what comes from living under a rock and relying only on what I’ve heard. Bad habit, I’ll admit.
Thanks for setting me straight. I’ll check it out more fully.
@Shawn – That’s exactly what I mean
There’s more to The Secret, but somehow the money aspect is the only thing that really comes through.
And then people go out of their mind with it, on an unrealistic dream trip to “I have more than I will ever need”. Only to get disappointed, because the money doesn’t “flow like a waterfall” into their lives, while their days are “filled with leisure”.
Let’s blame that “american-dream” crap. Those videos say it all: “I have more money than I will ever need, and yet, I am a sad narcisist who needs your envy to feel worth—plus, I don’t give a shit some people do need some money to not die today, I won’t give them a cent and feel great for having all of it for myself”.
It is that “money at all cost” that makes the world such a sad place. It is the reason why some morons lead the world economy towards a crisis who will be paid by the rest of us (while the spend a few thousand bucks on dinners).